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When you struggle with eczema like me, it’s a given that some happy experiences can feel a little flat. Being uncomfortable or self-conscious can really put a dampener on your fun.
That party you were looking forward to can suddenly turn into something you dread if your skin flares up. I’ve spent far too many outings wearing an abundance of clothing, trying to cover flaky, red skin. If the discomfort of your skin isn’t an issue, there will be times your confidence betrays you.
These days, I take it in my stride. I no longer cover up when I have a flare up, I’ve realised no one is looking at me. That doesn’t stop the pain of a particularly bad eczema eruption.
Sore skin comes with problems that no amount of confidence can fix.
Eczema shouldn’t upset big life events
When my first daughter was born, life was a whirlwind. I felt very young, (even though I was 22 and a fully fledged adult) and a little bit out of my depth. Those feelings alone aren’t particularly unusual, I don’t think first time mums are meant to know what they’re doing.
It’s a stressful time, and alongside sleepless nights and the urge to poke her every ten seconds to check she was breathing, I also had to deal with washing and sterilising absolutely everything. My eczema is triggered by stress and harsh chemicals – I never really stood a chance!
Soon my skin was cracked and flakey. I remember it splitting at the knuckles as I held her tiny hand.
Eczema didn’t have the power to take away the joy of cuddling up to my new arrival, but the pain levels were certainly able to dampen it a little.
Over time the eczema eased. I got more sleep and wore gloves to do the cleaning, but looking back, I feel that I wasn’t able to enjoy the newborn haze as much as I could have done, and to me that’s something no one should have to experience.
How I find the joy in every day
A lot of time has passed since I was a first-time parent, and I’ve learnt how to find the joy in every day, whether I’m struggling with eczema or not. My first born baby is almost a teen and I’ve welcomed two more children into our family since then.
This time, when my newest daughter was born, I struggled with eczema again. Thankfully, I had been introduced to Epaderm, which has a soothing effect, as well as helping me manage my eczema. I was able to nip it in the bud before it got too bad.
I wasn’t about to let my sore skin steal any of the joy having a new baby brings.
A combination of taking proper care of my skin, learning how to find confidence when my eczema is visible, and reminding myself that it’s not forever, helps me keep a positive mindset.
My tips for staying positive when you have a skin condition
When I look back on the times eczema has made me feel self-conscious, or the pain it’s caused has encroached on my fun, I realise there have been too many to count.
A skin condition shouldn’t have so much power. The ability for it to ruin your day or turn excitement to dread isn’t something you can overcome over night, but I have found a few ways of coping.
Firstly, taking control of your skin is a must. If your current treatment isn’t working for you, then seek advice – lots and lots of advice. My GP wasn’t helpful, but the lady at the pharmacy who introduced me to Epaderm, was. Make a list of your possible triggers, write them down, and try and figure out exactly what causes a flare up – then avoid it! Epaderm have a useful skin tracker to track symptoms and get better control of your eczema.
Secondly, building confidence is essential. It might feel alien stepping out with your skin condition on show, but after the first few outings you’ll be used to it (and so much more confident in your own skin.)
Remind yourself it’s not forever. While you might constantly suffer from problems with your skin, a flare up is just that – it flares up before petering out. Even if it’s particularly painful, you won’t always be this uncomfortable.
Lastly, and most importantly, remind yourself what brings you joy. For me, it’s my children, my hobbies, seeing the people I love. When I give birth and my eczema flares (which has happened 3 out of 3 times now), I can look down on my baby and forget my discomfort.
I can look forward to events and gatherings without that dread hanging over me. And if my skin is particularly sore, I can remind myself it’s not forever. I’ve lived through so many flare ups now, I know they always heal. They might last a while, they might come back, but the stinging and the soreness will always end.
And that’s how I find the joy in every day.