My first trimester is done, and although I feel less sick, there haven’t been many positives so far. I’m feeling a little robbed, to be honest. I was promised a glow!
Instead, my bladder problem has peaked, meaning I’ve been in pain, not slept and been generally miserable this week. My bladder was shutting off so frequently that I now have to catheterise myself – which I assure you is even worse than it sounds!
I’ve done a fair bit of crying. I’m not great at doing the catheter and it hurts when (if) I wee afterwards. I keep getting an overstimulated bladder too, which means I’m up for the majority of the night, even if I haven’t drank since 7pm.
My skin is dry, my hair is frizzy and I look as frazzled as I feel. I’m used to at least trying to be a bit glam, then all of a sudden I can’t drink at night and I have a hospital-issued mirror to help me find my urethra. It’s definitely not what I’m used to.
On top of this I’m feeling guilty for feeling sorry for myself. I was desperate for a third baby and after months of unexplained bleeding, it was looking like that window had closed. I didn’t expect to get pregnant and this baby is so wanted, it’s almost like I’m being ungrateful for not taking the problems in my stride.
It feels like I’ve traded my health for this baby. At 7 weeks I had a bleed and a few days later I bled some more. Thankfully all was okay, but it’s starting to feel like one thing after another.
Where is my glow? Will it come?
I can’t believe I thought the nausea was going to be the worst of it! I’d give anything to swap the nausea for my current situation.
All I can do is look forward to holding my new baby and hope this passes quickly. Any ideas to distract me will be gratefully received and I promise not to wallow. I’ve got some more lovely beauty things to share when I’m a bit better. Right now I just need a hug.