grandparent getting old

Time For A Heart-To-Heart: Talking To Your Kids About Their Grandparents Getting Old

As a parent, we come across moments in life that we’re not really sure how to navigate. While we know by now, a stress-free life is not exactly attainable, but when we have aging parents, and we have to juggle looking after them with our own children, it can prove to be pretty stressful. Not only this, there are so many different questions that we’re not sure how to answer, especially when our children ask them. There will be a time when they’ll ask “why doesn’t Nanny take me out anymore?” or “why won’t Grampy come outside and play football?” And we’ve got to sit down and discuss what’s actually going on.

grandparent getting old

When Should We Start Talking To Our Kids About This?

The most honest answer to this is really when they’re old enough to begin comprehending these situations. Approximately 3 years old will be when your child is developed enough to have a clear understanding of what happened in the past and what has changed. But what you need to do at this point is to be aware of the transitions your children are going through, and if they need help processing the information. Understandably, they will be incredibly sensitive, but then again, they may surprise you and show a surprisingly mature approach to the situation.

Helping Our Children To Understand The Reasons Why

This can feel incredibly tricky, because on the one hand, you will feel the temptation to sugarcoat it, but on the other hand, honesty is the best policy. And at the same time, it may still be difficult for you to process, especially if it’s got to the point where one of your parents is going into a care home. But, there are numerous policies put in place and services provided by the vast majority of care homes, such as Porthaven care homes, that work with families to ensure that everybody is on the same page. And when discussing something like a terminal condition, or going into a home, you will have to judge how your child is able to handle information.

How We Can Make It “Easier” For The Kids

“Easy” might not be the right term at this juncture, but if you don’t believe in sheltering your kids from the reality, but you are still concerned as to how they will react, you may want to work together, as a family, to focus, not just on the positive side, but to increase everybody’s empathy of the situation. Visiting their grandparents, either in a hospital or in a home, can be overwhelming at first, but it’s this hurdle we have to jump over. It’s difficult enough for us, but we still have to ensure that our children aren’t wrapped in cotton wool, especially when the time comes that we may have to explain they’ve passed away.

It’s a conversation we all have to have at some point, and you know your children better than anyone else, and it’s vital that they learn ways to cope with the news. And this is where you, as their parent, should lead by example so they can release their emotions in a constructive way.

 

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