The suggestion is always there from the beginning. It’s in the pages of every glossy magazine we read. It’s the implication in every rose-tinted playground discussion. It’s the alternate reality we see reflected back at us in every television commercial. Having it all is a dangerous phase. Although the exact definition of having it all is highly personal, most would accept that it roughly means having both a successful career and a home life – maybe a family, fulfilling friendships, a great other half. Life often gets in the way of this construct we carry in our heads and hearts, and achieving all of these things can become somewhat of a checklist permanently hovering over us, a niggling doubt that who we are and what we have is never quite enough. But is ‘having it all’ even possible in the first place? And should we even want it if it is?
Getting A Work Life Balance
Often when trying to get it all, we feel like we’re getting nothing, because we’re stressed and overwhelmed. We feel like we aren’t truly present either at work or when spending time with our families. Putting proactive steps in place to achieve a better work life balance can help you to feel like you’ve regained a little control of your time. Start by deciding what your personal boundaries are and consciously committing to them. So it could be that you don’t answer emails after 6pm or before 8am. It could be that you use a prioritisation matrix to decide how urgently incoming tasks need your attention. Pair these resolutions with some great productivity tools to really get the most out of your working day. Read up on the Pomodoro Technique to help improve your focus and output. If you manage others, then a tool like https://getsling.com/ can help you arrange rotas and organise cover so that you can begin to delegate more. Learning to trust others can be especially hard but it’s a necessary fact that empowering others will help you to focus on the essentials. Effectively prioritising your working day by blocking out chunks of task time where you resist the temptation to check your emails and get drawn into the latest discussion on everything also helps. If you can use your time more effectively and get the important tasks done, it allows you to ‘switch off’ about work when you get home and spend that time being fully present with family and friends. If your stress level is our of hand, learn more about finding a therapist in person or online.
Is Self Employment The Answer?
Providing the ultimate flexibility, those stuck with a lengthy commute could be forgiven for dreaming of finding the courage to go it alone and start a business. And while in theory this gives you the option not to be stuck at your desk, many entrepreneurs find that they are spinning so many plates and whole heap of stress rather than leaving early on a Friday night. Having no set schedule but a lot of obligations can actually result in some fairly crazy working hours – with no HR department to help regulate the situation. However, there are ways to master it. Firstly, you can create a routine that capitalises on your personal energies and the time periods where you feel most on it. If you are a creative who often gets inspired at 11pm, you can follow that flow without having to accommodate 9am meetings if you don’t choose to do so. Note down when you are at your most productive and schedule the heavy lifting tasks where you most need to focus for those periods. Particularly with project based working, it isn’t the hours you put in but only the result that counts, so you may find that you get significantly more done by working to your own natural energy rhythms.
Rejecting The Perfection Myth
The idea of having things ‘perfect’ is one that is quite deeply embedded in our culture and our personal psyches, and yet it’s a very damaging concept, for the simple fact that it doesn’t actually exist. Measuring ourselves against an illusory standard means that of course we will find our own lives lacking. In fact, if we did have a perfect life it would be a kind of death, because no further progress or experience would be possible. Telling ourselves that we should have the perfect home, family time or career is dangerous, as it’s often used as a form of procrastination to avoid actually taking action that might result in improvements- the task is simply too huge to contemplate. Aspiring to the perfect life is to cut ourselves off and raise a bar that only keeps getting higher and will leave us permanently dissatisfied. So the best course of action in terms of having it all is to accept that the idea of perfection is a nonsense.
The Importance of Having a Good Support Network
One of the main pillars to managing work and homelife is having a back-up team that can support you when things get sticky, and also having access to the right information. Whether it’s your partner, family members or a trusted friend, someone you can call on in a pinch is essential. You simply can’t do everything on your own, and every career woman needs support at home to keep things running. If that means hiring in help with childcare, cleaning, dog-walking – whatever you need, then don’t count that as a failure. See it as an enabler to allow you to carry on with your work and still enjoy your home environment.
Learning to Care For Ourselves
Often, it seems that there is a list of people to take care of that come before yourself, and we can be left feeling like there is no time to prioritize our own health and maintenance. Many of us are running on empty by default. But if you aren’t choosing to invest that time in better physical and mental health, it can have serious consequences. make time to be alone with your thoughts, and create that space in your life – whether it’s a 20 minute power walk in the morning, a solitary aromatherapy bath a couple of times a week in the evening, or sitting alone with a latte and a good book on a Sunday morning. This is not a waste of time – it’s essential self-care maintenance to keep your life running smoothly.
Turn It Around To Gratitude
When we’re thankful, it changes our entire mindset, taking the focus away from petty problems and making us realise how good we really have it. Keeping a gratitude journal has become all the rage recently – and simply getting into the practice of writing down two or three things each day that we’re thankful for can have a big impact on our mental health. Anything from a compliment from a friend to spotting a bright bunch of blooms counts – it’s all about appreciating the little things and everyday pleasures in our daily lives. This simple practice can be truly transformative. It can make you see that you do have it all – or certainly all you need. Sometimes having it all is actually about appreciating what you’ve got.