Seeing the bond that your child forms with a family pet can be incredibly moving. You may notice that they’re calmer, more considerate, and generally more content. Unfortunately, those benefits can make it even harder if that pet falls ill, especially if the worst eventually happens.
If your child is young at the time, you may assume that you can simply swap out that pet for another without your child noticing. But, while this may be how they do things in the movies, it’s actually not a very good idea in real life.
There are various reasons for this, and we’ve put together the most important ones here. So, instead of heading straight to the pet shop, you might want to keep on reading.
Reason # 1 – Invalidating Your Child’s Feelings
While it obviously isn’t your intention, swapping a pet that your child has loved like-for-like fundamentally invalidates their feelings. While incredibly young children might not notice the difference, children from around three and upwards may be suspicious of any replacement you put in their pet’s place.
If they do discover the deceit, it may make your child feel like the love they had for their initial pet didn’t matter, or that they aren’t allowed to grieve because they have a new pet now. Worse, they’ll feel confused about the whole thing. This confusion around such an important issue is never a good thing, and it’s something you can avoid by simply being honest.
Reason # 2 – Missing Out on Closure
As humans, we need closure to help us grieve and move forward, which is something your child can’t have if you simply put an animal in the old one’s place. Without it, they may think that their old pet will simply reappear. As such, it’s always important to inform your child about a pet’s death.
Even for younger children, definitive language is best. For instance, instead of saying ‘passed away’ or ‘moved on’, experts recommend explicitly using the word ‘death’. Older children may also benefit from hearing at least a little about the reasons for this death. For instance, did you suddenly have to contact an emergency vet to help their pet go to sleep, or did the death happen because of a drawn-out illness? Obviously, avoid horrible details, but make sure that your child is aware of these realities, instead of covering them up.
Reason # 3 – Skipping Crucial Lessons
While you’ll naturally want to protect your child from the upset caused by the loss of a pet, it’s also important to note that learning about death is one of the crucial lessons that pet ownership provides at a young age. If you try to cover this up, your child will never learn that lesson. So, it’s always worth addressing the issue head-on so that your child can grow and develop, rather than simply assuming they won’t be able to handle this situation.
Pet loss is never easy to tackle, but don’t underestimate your child by opting for a clumsy cover-up instead of coming clean!