Nora got the call on a Sunday. Her younger brother Callum had finished a stretch of treatment and wanted to go somewhere structured afterwards, not straight back to the flat he’d been living in before. “There’s a house,” he said. “Shared rooms, house rules. I think I want to try it.”
She was relieved, then immediately out of her depth. Nora is the sort of person who reads the leaflet, and there wasn’t one. What kind of house was it? Who ran it? What did “sober living” actually mean when the website said one thing and a friend said another?
If you’ve ever been in her position, this guide is for you. It won’t tell you which house is right, because that depends on the person. It will give you a clear picture of how these homes are described, and a short list of questions that make a first conversation easier.
A note on sources: the framework below comes from a US organisation, so the terms and standards are American. If you’re reading from the UK, services are set up differently, but the questions still apply.
What “Recovery Residence” Means
The National Alliance for Recovery Residences (NARR) describes recovery residences as “safe and healthy community-oriented home environments” where people practise skills that help sustain recovery. All of them are alcohol- and illicit-substance-free, and they use what’s called the Social Model, a group-based approach in which residents share responsibility for the safety and wellbeing of themselves and each other.
In plain terms: it isn’t a hospital and it isn’t a hotel. It’s a home with rules, built around people looking out for one another. NARR lists strengths-based lived experience, peer leadership, shared decision-making and community support networks among its foundations.
The Four Levels
Not all homes are run the same way. NARR sorts them into four levels, and knowing which one you’re looking at tells you a lot:
- Level I, peer-run: Democratically governed homes that rely on house guidelines and peer accountability
- Level II, monitored: Homes with house rules and peer accountability, plus a senior resident acting as house manager. Some offer light recovery support and life skills
- Level III, supervised: Homes with weekly structured programming, including peer-based support and life skills training, run by supervised, trained or credentialed staff
- Level IV, clinical: Programmes that combine the social model with a medical one, offering clinical treatment alongside peer support and life skills
None of these is automatically better. A person who needs more day-to-day structure may do well at a higher level, while someone who is steady and wants independence may prefer a lower one. The useful question is which level fits the person right now.
Questions Worth Asking
When Nora rang the house, she wrote the answers down. These are the questions she found most useful, and they work for almost any home:
- Who runs it, and how is it governed? Is there a house manager, staff, or a resident vote?
- What are the house rules? Curfews, meeting attendance, work or volunteering expectations and visitors are all worth asking about
- What happens after a slip? A clear, written answer is better than a vague one
- How are medications handled? If your relative takes prescribed medication, ask early
- What does it cost, and what does that include? Ask about deposits and what happens if someone leaves
- How long do people usually stay? And how is the decision to move on made?
- Can we see the house? A virtual tour counts if you can’t go in person
You’re not interrogating anyone. You’re doing what you’d do before any big move: finding out what daily life looks like.
A Familiar Scenario: What Nora Did
Nora asked for a call with the house manager instead of the website. She asked every question on her list. The manager answered them plainly, including the one about what happens after a slip, and said that if she hadn’t asked, he’d have raised it anyway.
Then she did something less obvious. She asked Callum what he wanted from the house. He said structure he didn’t have to invent himself, and people who wouldn’t need things explained. That told her more than any brochure had.
One Example of How a Provider Describes It
It can help to see how an actual provider presents these homes. Healing Rock Recovery, a treatment provider in Billings, Montana, has a page about its recovery residences. It describes two sober living houses, one for men and one for women, each with five bedrooms and room for up to nine residents, and says residents are expected to attend outside support meetings, keep up work or volunteering, and follow house rules such as curfews and random drug screening. The page says the homes are run by Healing Rock Homes, which it describes as independently run and not a Healing Rock Recovery service.
It’s a US provider’s page, so treat it as an example of the sort of detail to look for, and not as a recommendation. If you’re in the UK, a GP or local drug and alcohol service is the better starting point.
Looking After Yourself Too
It’s easy for the person arranging everything to forget they’re also affected. Nora found it helped to keep her role small: ask the questions, share what she’d learned, and leave the decision to Callum. That was easier on both of them.
If you’re worried about someone’s safety right now, call emergency services (999 in the UK, 911 in the US). Samaritans are free on 116 123 in the UK, and 988 reaches the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline in the US.
Back to Sunday
Callum moved in a fortnight later with one bag and a kettle he’d insisted on. The first week was awkward. The second was better. Nora still has her list of questions in her notes app, in case a friend ever needs it.
Sources
- National Alliance for Recovery Residences. Standards (page last modified October 2026; refers to NARR Standard 3.0). https://narronline.org/standards/
- Healing Rock Recovery. Recovery Residences / Sober Living Homes (client page; details as read October 2026). https://www.healingrockrecovery.com/recovery_residences