Let’s be honest. The reason many of our deepest, darkest secrets stay hidden is because we’re too ashamed to share them with others. But fear of judgment is exactly why those problems, like addiction, thrive — left in the dark, they are able to take root and become something dangerous.
Instead of hiding your addiction, you’re considering telling your partner. This decision has multiple potential consequences. In your mind, it might be easier to continue to hide the problem rather than face the results of the truth. And there’s that niggling voice telling you that once you admit it, you’ll have to get help.
It’s common to worry about the details behind addiction recovery, like the time you’ll need to be away from home and the money it involves to get sober. More important than these concerns is the damage you’re causing to yourself and your relationship. The details will work themselves out. For instance, insurance plans like Tricare accepted rehab for addiction. And the long-term cost of drug use is significantly greater than your rehab expenses.
But how you’ll handle coming “clean” with your partner is another matter. Here, we’ll discuss the good and bad of admitting a drug addiction to your loved one.
High-Functioning Or Not, The Truth Comes Out
If you’ve made it this far without your partner catching on to your addiction, you’re what’s called a high-functioning user. Chances are, you’re in a good job with a successful life, and you’ve begun to find ways to hide your substance abuse.
Eventually, the addiction will take over your willpower. Your urge to use will become stronger, cost more of your time and money to handle, and harm your health. These side effects will cause damage to your job and family, and the truth of an addiction always comes out.
The Good, Bad, and Ugly of Honesty
As we’ve seen repeatedly in the lives of celebrities, ongoing substance use always ends in one of two ways: you come clean, or you overdose, and your addiction is revealed anyway. Being honest with your partner about your addiction gives you a better shot at the first result without the complications and potential fatality of the second.
The good side of honesty brings a lot of freedom and relief with it:
- Recovery is always easier when you have someone to share the road with it, and the burden is no longer just on your shoulders.
- You get treatment faster than you would have otherwise, which stops further substance use damage from happening to your mind and body.
- Your loved ones understand what’s going on and can choose the boundaries they need to set to handle the role your addiction plays in their lives.
Keep in mind that no one is entitled to your honesty just because of their connection to you. Talk to your partner and those closest to you about the ugly details, and limit what you share with others to only what they need to know.
Still, there are bad and ugly sides of honesty. Those you love, including your partner, may decide that your addiction is too much for them, and they could struggle as they reset the boundaries of your relationship. This is common, and you should even expect it. They’re angry, hurt, and disappointed — mostly that you’ve lied to them thus far. Be patient and let them sort through their feelings while you prove to them that you’re willing to change and get help.
Another downside is that you may lose those friends you thought were forever if they have an addiction problem themselves. If they’re not ready to face their issues, they don’t want to see you on the road to recovery. But if you’re successful, being a role model to them is its own reward, and you don’t have to be in their face for them to know you’re clean and happy.
Getting Help is the Next Step
Once you decide to share your struggle with your partner, their response doesn’t change your next step. If they’re supportive and encouraging, your road may be easier. But whether they’re with you or they need to take a break and think through their feelings, you won’t be alone. Contact the nearest rehab center or an expert near you, and find out how you can start the journey to clean and sober living.