Arrival Survival: Positives of Having a Newborn During Lockdown

When I found out baby number three was on the way, I fantasised about how that might look. A March baby meant the kids would be at school during the day, giving me the chance to get to know my newborn without distraction. I planned to walk up to my sister’s house for coffee, and call in on my mum a few times a week. I envisioned making other new-mum friends at baby groups and getting the little one weighed each week.

In a truly unexpected turn of events, these plans were not to be. No one saw an insidious illness coming to infect the land. Who could have guessed that families like mine would isolate, and mothers would on labour wards would birth alone? Obviously not me. Probably not you either.

I gave birth the week the lockdown was announced. Thankfully my husband was allowed to be there by my side (I swear I couldn’t have done it without him). We were discharged quickly, ready to start our life in lockdown.

Positives of Having a Newborn During Lockdown

It looks like the lockdown won’t be ending any time soon. Lots of mums are set to give birth in circumstances they never imagined when they saw those two lines on the pregnancy test. They’ll go home to a support network that’s smaller than expected and be faced with a reality that’s very different to what most new parents experience.

I’ve lived this reality for over a month now, and I thought it might be helpful to share the positives.  I’m trying not to stress about what I can’t change, and look to the good things about this situation.

There’s no routine

This is my favourite. Newborn babies have no concept of routine anyway, so I could really follow baby Orlaith’s lead. We sleep ’til 8 most days so I’m really glad we have nowhere to be. Often she won’t settle before midnight either, so knowing I won’t have to be up early is really reassuring when I stay up late watching trashy TV.

No school run

The lack of school run is technically an extension of the ‘no routine’ point above. It’s such a relief that I don’t have to argue with my kids (yes both of them, even the 11-year-old) about getting washed, dressed and eating breakfast to a deadline. I’m letting them live more of a free range life right now and it has massively taken the pressure off. They get dressed when they feel like it and I feed them when I remember.

No queue of guests

Don’t get me wrong, I love to show off my new baby to everyone I know (and I’m missing being able to this time around) but it’s easy to manage your social calendar when it isn’t allowed to exist. Usually the first two weeks are chocka with back-to-back visits from everyone you’ve ever told about your pregnancy. It’s lovely, but it’s incredibly tiring and often doesn’t leave a window to catch up on sleep/wash your hair/change out of the clothes baby was a little bit sick on 9 hours earlier.

No pressure to carry on as normal

There’s a lot of pressure on mums to just keep going no matter what – even if your body has been through something as huge as expelling a small human. Whether you pushed, or had someone cut you open while you were awake (!) to get the baby out, you went through a lot and, my god, you deserve a rest, woman! Thankfully, there currently is no normal, so there’s absolutely no pressure to get back to how things were before.

No judgement

In these weird old times, anything goes. Earlier I asked Twitter if I should spend an inordinate amount of money on chocolate from Hotel Chocolat that I had no intention of sharing. The response I received was a resounding “YES!” I’m certain this wouldn’t fly in any other circumstances.

It’s not forever

The biggest positive of this is that it won’t be forever. One day, hopefully soon, your mum will be able to hold your new arrival. Your friends will bring cakes and steal a snuggle. You’ll be able to take the pram out for a stroll. Eventually the children’s centres will reopen and you’ll find comrades in other mothers with babies of the same age.

Although it’s sad, weird and at times, lonely staying home, it’s doing some good. You’re protecting yourself, you’re protecting others and you’re helping the country heal.

 

Sit tight – it won’t be for long.

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