Healthy Living

Life in the Fat Lane

Nope, there’s no typo in the title, I’m just fat and I’m miserable about it. The weird thing is, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being overweight. I see plus size models and I think they look good. Friends who complain about having lots to lose still look absolutely gorgeous to me, but I see my own reflection and I hate it.

I’m clearly not going to be in the running for any body positivity awards, but I’m not fat bashing. I hate being so big because it’s completely changed the way my life works. When I was thinner, I lead a charmed existence (and before you think it, I’m not saying I was gorgeous or amazing or anything. I don’t want to seem like Samantha Brick, I think I was just living the thin life.)

life in the fat lane
See, I was distinctly average. Slim, but not skinny.

When I was thinner I barely ever opened doors for myself, there would always be someone nearby who would do it for me. Likewise with crossing the road, I would stand at the curb and look like I was ready to cross and people would stop to let me go. I would also get discounts. Being fat is expensive. When I was much less fat, people would produce coupons at the till to give me money off my shopping, on occasion the cashier has even reduced food items citing short date as the reason. I was nothing special,  I think this is just how non-fat people live.

I envy the women who haven’t had a drastic change in their appearance. I don’t just mean the waifs that haven’t gained an ounce in a decade;  I’m talking about the women who’ve always weighed in heavy and are just comfortable in their own skin. It’s so hard to reach a point where you’re happy if your appearance is constantly changing.

Weight loss is such a struggle. I was doing really well with a diet plan a few weeks ago, I lost 4lb in the first week, then half term hit and I ate my weight in carbs, gaining another 10lb!

Life in the fat lane
I have a Bluetooth scale that likes to shame me.

I started a VLCD (very low calorie diet) last week. The first three days of these are absolute hell, you go through a sugar and carb withdrawal and you feel rotten. Once you pass the first three days you feel great and usually lose 10lb in the first ten days. I had managed two full days, I was so close. Then my tot was admitted to hospital on day three and I ate rubbish just to sustain myself ( I was up for 22hrs on the first day, I needed it).

So here I am, taking responsibility. This is me now. Excuse the obvious use of selfie stick, no one was around to take a photo of me wallowing in self pity.

Life in the fat lane

It’s kind of embarrassing to post because I know I look so bad. By sharing this with the world (aka my one reader; hi Mum) I’m at least gaining some accountability. I am going to lose weight now and look back on this photo to see how far I’ve come.

I have the tools to do it. I have a free subscription to an exercise channel that I got in return for reviewing it. I have a wardrobe full of clothes I’d like to wear again which serve as motivation. I even have the food I bought for the VLCD to kick-start things. The only thing stopping me is me.

life in the fat lane
I thought I was fat when this was taken. I’m such a fool!

If anyone wants to join me Tweet me or message my Facebook page and I’ll make us a supportive little community on Facebook. Weight loss is so hard and I think if there’s others in the same boat it eases the struggle a little.

Wish me luck!

Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday

27 thoughts on “Life in the Fat Lane

    1. Me too. You’re so pretty though and your hair is ace. Are you seriously up for a Facebook group? We could keep it for mainly bloggers if you fancy? xx

    1. You’ve done amazingly Laura, you’re so focussed. I absolutely hate exercise but I know it’s a nnecessary evil, how long did it take for you to enjoy it?

  1. If you haven’t already, I highly recommend getting a fitbit or something similar. Thus far I have lost about 70 pounds with diet and excercise with a lot of determination and the help of my wrist tracker. Also, very low calorie diets are not the way to go if you’re looking for sustainable weight loss. I’m sure you’ve heard this before, but it is true. Cutting 500 calories a day for 1lb per week loss or maximum of 1000 calories are day deficit for 2lbs a week weight loss is really the only way to prevent the yo-yo effect. In order to do this, however, you need to know exactly how much you’re eating/burning, which is where a tracker is extrordinarily helpful. I would also recommend working out (I use FitnessBlender workouts that are free on youtube) to help prevent losing as much muscle as you otherwise would. I typically pick a half hourish routine and work out at home during my son’s nap time 3-5 days per week. Hopefully this helps you in some way. Good luck with your weight loss, you can do it!!

    1. Thank you for commenting, I didn’t know about that YouTube channel! I did have a Fitbit but I lost it and I was so sad, I can’t afford to replace it for another month 🙁 when I had it on all of the time I was obsessed, I lost 2 stone but gained it all back this year. I know VLCD are no solution but I know I need to kickstart things and I enjoy the sensation they give of not being hungry. I am to be back on proper food after 2-4 weeks, hopefully I’ll retain my smaller appetite. I’m looking forward to the challenge now, rather than just feeling crap about how I look. Well done you for losing all of that! You’ve done marvellously!

  2. We had a bit of a chat on twitter about this 🙂 Blogger Weight Loss Support group sounds like a great idea. I hit up Slimming World last week and lost 4.5lbs, but there’s so much more to go. This week I’ve really got to stop stealing chocolate buttons out of the cupboard and eating so much bread… #rv&ht

    1. Go you! What a fab result! I used to do Weight Watchers, is slimming world easy enough to follow? I need to stop eating every food item I so much as walk past!

  3. I also do slimming world, and have lost 3 stone. It’s so easy to follow, all 4 of us at home eat the same food, including 8 month Wills! I’ve lost 3 stone since September 2015 but I was pregnant for 9 months of that (because SW is Royal College of Midwives approved and helped hugely with GD)! So in my head that’s actually 3 stone in 9 months. I would 100% recommend it, and the bonus is you don’t go back to eating crap within a month and putting all the weight back on. I was a size 18 when I started, and comfortably wear a 10-12 now. x #RVT&HT

    1. That’s amazing! I’m an 18-20 at the minute and used to wear a 12-14. I’ll definitely look into it, I think there’s a meeting near my new house. Weight loss is incredibly hard, well done you! I still think 3 stone in 9 months is ideal. My weight is the one thing making me stall booking a wedding date.

  4. Three years ago my husband lost 80 pounds (he gained about 30 of it back). He said the hardest part was finally deciding he was tired of being fat. He has struggled with weight his whole life, and at his heaviest he was over 250lbs. I love how open you are being about your weight struggle. Find your motivation, and stick to it!

    1. Wow, he’s done really well! Even after gaining some back, he’s still kept a lot off. It’s hard to admit you are fat and then pledge to change it. Especially as I think denial accompanies any weight gain. You know you’re gaining, your clothes are tight but you make sure your mirrors stop at your shoulders. You know it’s there and you just don’t want to see it. Taking a full look at your body is the beginning of the end I think. It’s a bit like that first stage when addicts ask for help, acknowledging the problem is the first step!

  5. As long as you’re losing weight for yourself and how *you* feel then there’s nothing wrong with it!

    I recommend the much-underappreciated methods of shopping (heavy bags + running for the train + no money left to spend on snacks,) and the library (heavy books + walking there + bending and stretching to reach the book you want on the shelves!) They’re what I do anyway!


  6. I hear you, I feel exactly the same. I’m just not happy with my reflection. You look fab if you ask me but I know how you feel. I binge eat and far too much of the kids stuff…and then my own meals too! Good luck with the weight loss x

  7. Hi Jenny, I’m coming to the end of my three month challenge (started 2nd January) and I’m so pleased to say it is now my lifestyle. Thought you might enjoy taking a look @reallifemanicmum

    Goodluck with your journey! It’s not an easy one but stick with it and it’s an extremely rewarding one 😊

  8. I am in the same boat. I have never been a healthy weight and now I am 30 lbs heavier than I have been before. Making little, achievable goals and changes is what seems to help me get moving! #RV&HT#KCACOLS

  9. I am about 50lb heavier than I should be and I hate the fact that I am naturally a slim person and have put on so much weight. I am never really in photos, not just because I’m the photographer, but because I don’t like to see what I look like!

    I’d definitely be up for joining you in a Facebook group 🙂


  10. You have such a stunning face though and not many people can say that. Weight loss isn’t always necessary as long as you are as healthy as you can be. But if you really want to do it I can highly recommend HIIT classes, they work so well. #RVHT

  11. I know exactly how hard it is. I have been recording my weight loss journey on my blog for 8 months now, but not a lot has semmed to change, I am so sick of seeing myself like this.

    1. It’s incredibly hard. It feels like if we should weigh less, why is it so difficult to lose it? I need an overhaul and a lot of motivation x

    1. Thank you! I’m rubbish at counting calories, I need to just get on with it though, I’ve done it before. I think I’ve been in the wrong headspace to do it recently x

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